lonely

yes, I am. I feel like every time I'm on this thing, I'm feeling some kind of negative emotion.
My friend Chelsee completely understands however and that is VERY encouraging :) Thanks, CHels.

I'm so over this. I think I'm feeling so bummed this time, b/c I wasn't over missing him last time he was home. After being gone a month straight, you need to be home longer than 2 weeks for me to stop missing you. Only two weeks left. And then he's home for the winter, with the exception of a weekend here and there.

Gosh, I'm lonely though. I went to church this morning and sat alone. Came home alone. Watched a movie alone. Went for a run alone. Sorted through receipts and paperwork alone. Sleep alone. Eat alone.
Had my amazing 10 minute conversation with my hunny on the phone (was relieved of my lonliness temporarily) and now am alone again. I'm really tired of being alone. It makes me depressed. I haven't spoken to anyone all day with the exception of my 10 minute convo with my Mark.

I informed him I was feeling depressed and he told me not to be that he'll be home soon. But it's easier for him. He at least works with people and talks to people. I work alone. I feel as if my heart should stop beating. Like if I could just sleep for the next few days at least it would take some of the pain away. But I am SO glad that this is the last of the travelling for a while. THANK GOD!

On a positive note, I gardened yesterday. Yep, got my flower beds in the front lawn all finished. built a rock wall rearranged plants, etc. :) I took some pictures for you to see Chelsee. The one above on the right is the before picture, then one on the left is the after. It does't look as good as the before one b/c of the time of year, but trust me. It's MUCH better now. :)

I am SO glad you can travel with your hubby. Isn't it a wonderful feeling? That heart swelling feeling when you are moments away from seeing him again? At least we don't have to worry about growing tired of them. :) They're not around enough for that to happen!! It definitely makes every moment that much more memorable and special.

I'm looking forward to feeling my heart swell. I need it.

life, love and all of the above

So, God must have heard my cry. Shortly after my last blog, my husband appears to have done a 180*. And not to just make it up to me. No. It's gone on too long to be short lived. He has been attending this Men's Fraternity thing at church about succeeding at home and at work and he is learning about a woman's needs. He is coming along beautifully. Everything from helping around the house to having deep intimate conversations to amazing yes. ;)

I do hope that only you read these Chelsee. :)

I finished watching all of the sex and the city episodes tonight. I have fallen in love with that show! Too bad it's over. I saw the movie first and then watched the show. But it left me thinking. I as a believer know what life is all about. God. It's about living our lives in honor to Him. That's what we are told and that is what we know to be true. However, what about all the aspects of living that happens around us that we miss or that we don't pay attention to b/c we're trying so hard to live for the Lord.

Now, I don't want this to come off wrong. I LOVE Jesus! And i love living for HIm. I just have a thought. Let's not miss out on life. The life that God has given to us to enjoy. Living is supposed to be fullfilling. Full of spontaneaity. Relationships. Adventure. Mishaps. Laughter. Love.

I want all of that. Not just some. All. I want deep meaningful relationships with a few girlfriends that last a lifetime. I want to travel and see and do new and exciting things. I want to laugh at myself and have others laugh along with me. I want to be able to have fun when the embaressing happens and have someone to share it with. I want girls nights out to chat and share about our daily happenings. I want to be married and be around my husband who loves me just the way I am. I have all of these things listed above, but not in the quantity or quality that I would hope for.

My friends are all at least half way across the country which keeps any of us from meeting more than once a year, if we're lucky. As a matter of fact, it has been over 2 years for some of them! I want all of us girls to live in one spot. For our husbands to actually meet eachother and get along. For us to all meet up for coffee or dessert. To have someone to share married life with, future babies with, trials with, secrets with. I want my husband to be around more than 7-9 months of the year. I want him around for the full 12!

I have a husband and he is phenomenal! But I miss him a lot too. Chelsee, I don't know how you do it, with your man being in the military. Gosh, you must get lonely. I do and I've been doing this for almost 3 years now.

I know one thing. I'm looking forward to winter. When the travelling stops and things slow down. At least for a few months. I miss him. I sometimes go days without speaking a word until he calls me for a blissful 10 minute conversation.

Oh, and have I mentioned I'm completely pmsing? :)